i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
