she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
