last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I wish you could order shots online.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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