Its about making memories worth repressing
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
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I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
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I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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