I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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