I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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