Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
