Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
