You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
did i walk over a car last night?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
