my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
