High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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