It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
