I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
