apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
