I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
