Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
