I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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