Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
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