is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
