That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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