I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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