i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
