Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
