is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
