my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
