Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Me too!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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