Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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