dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
