Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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