Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
