I'm jealous of your bromance
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
