I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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