so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
