OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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