I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
