We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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