dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt