You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.