About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
