sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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