my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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