I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
