I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
