Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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