I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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