First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
That accounts for only three of the penises
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
