Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
