Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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