NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.