why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I love having hate sex.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.