woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I wear drunk well.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
