i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
