She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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