she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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