i was born a porn star she said
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
