sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
